


Depression

by naths



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Bathtub, Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Depressed josh, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking, Understanding Chris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 14:36:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17768633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naths/pseuds/naths
Summary: Josh has a bad day and Chris found him in the bathtub.





	Depression

**Author's Note:**

> I don´t want to offend someone with this one shot. kinda handle my life through fanfiction so this fic is based on how I feel and experience my depression.

Depression or Major depressive disorder is a mental disorder characterized by at least two weeks of low mood that is present across most situations. Often accompanied by low self-esteem, loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities, low energy, and pain without a clear cause. Some People may also occasionally have false beliefs or see or hear things that others cannot.*

Josh knew this first hand. And everyone who says depression was just a fancy word for feeling bummed out was just an ignorant asshole in his opinion.   
Depression was more than a mood or phase he had. For the last few months, it was his daily companion since his sisters disappeared. And he didn´t feel sad all the time sometimes he felt shitty, and other days he felt hopeless.

Even more now, after what had happened at the anniversary on Blackwood Pines with his stupid revenge plan and the near-death experience by the wendigos he and his friends survived.   
He mindlessly let his thumb stroke the scar that twisted his mouth into a grimace. His face a constant reminder which creatures they had escaped from with the sharp teeth at the corner of his lips. 

And he also had good days where he could block all the negative thoughts out. But today sadly was not a good day. It was as if all the negative energy was crawling around him.

Josh leaned back against the bathtub, sliding down further, his chin barely over the water yet the bathtub was merely half-full.   
If he would swing his legs over the edge of the bathtub then-

"Hey,"  
a soft voice snapped Josh out of his thoughts, and tired brown eyes looked up at Chris, who stood in the doorway of the bathroom, arms crossed over his chest as he watched Josh fondly with a small but sad smile on his lips, Josh returned the sad smile.

Then Chris had walked over to him to kneel down next to the bathtub, supporting himself with his arms on the edge of the tub.  
He looked Josh up and down, who sat fully dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants in the water.

"What are you doing?"  
he asked it wasn´t the first time he found Josh laying dressed in the bathtub Josh had explained his behaviour and his suicidal thoughts but also his paradox fear of dying.

After what had happened he feared death even more than ever, but sometimes his mind told him that death was the only solution to end his suffering. But he never really tried to do it.  
That was the reason why he laid in the bathtub sometimes also Josh had told him other times he would stand in the kitchen, knife in hand and wondering what if? So many if´s? But he never did find out.

And Chris had believed his boyfriend when Josh promised him to tell him if everything got too overwhelming if he was near his edge. And Josh had kept his promise and came straight to Chris after his breakdowns, who had held him and tried to comfort him in every way possible.

"Drowning,"  
Was Josh's simple answer paired with an apologetic smile and Chris reached a hand out to touch his face. Cupping his scarred over cheek and Josh immediately leaned into the touch. They stayed like that for a moment, before Chris stood up again and pressed a soft kiss to Josh´s lips. Who crocked his head a bit to kiss back as he closed his eyes.

Josh remained still like that even when Chris had ended their kiss to straighten up again. He curiously opened his eyes when he heard Chris fumbling with his belt. Watching his boyfriend as he undresses his Jeans.

"What are you doing now?"  
Josh asked, and Chris shot him a grin,  
"Drowning with you,"  
he said stepping out of the rest of his pants,  
"Make room for me."

Josh looked at Chris for a seconds before an amused smile formed on his lips as he pushed himself up in a proper sitting position and scooted over so that Chris could sit behind him. Trapped between his legs, Josh leaned his back against his boyfriend's chest, relaxing a bit.

Chris' arms came around Josh´s waist, pulling him closer as Josh lazily moved his arm to comb Chris' hair. Nearly knocking off his glasses and Chris took them off and placed them on the floor.  
"Bad day? Or bad-bad day?"  
He asked while nuzzling his nose into Josh´s hair, who made a weak gesture with his free hand.

"They´re just crawling around."  
"Who? Hannah?"  
Chris asked confused he knew Josh had had hallucinations of Hannah as Wendigo in the first weeks after his rescue, but he thought they had ended.

"Nah, I named them depression and anxiety."  
Josh answered shrugging his shoulder,  
"Depression and anxiety?"  
Chris murmured against his boyfriends head, placing kisses on his hair.

"Yeah, if I have to explain it, give it a form, then it feels like how it looks when the Wendigos where crawling and jumping around."   
Josh sighs leaning closer against Chris' chest as he closed his eyes again and relished in the silence that had settled over them for probably 10 min. 

"We should get out soon, or we´ll catch a cold."  
Chris whispers, and Josh nodded.

A few moments later they both were changed in dry and warm clothes covered in blankets while cuddling on the couch watching a movie.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thank you for reading my little fic, I won't ask if you enjoyed it.   
> Simply because that is no enjoyable topic and was more meant as a self-reflection for myself and I love Josh and Chris and their pairing is just ideal for that kinda topic.   
> I mean every ship in this fandom kinda is ideal after what they have been through but I relate myself with Josh and Chris the most.  
> So Yeah if you like to leave some kudos and comments, it would make me smile.  
> Also, I used *Wikipedia for the first section of the fic.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder


End file.
